i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
