Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize