you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
