So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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