Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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