my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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