OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
