the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize