Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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