I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
