i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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