I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
