very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
