He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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