please come you make the beer taste better
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
