Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
