Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
