i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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