1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
