I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
FUCK WHALES
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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