Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize