So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
