sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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