I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
