His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
