Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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