he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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