It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
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just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
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I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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