So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
