Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
