you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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