Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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