it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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