just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
