So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize