my room smells like sperm. sweet.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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