Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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