I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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