Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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