ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
