I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
