We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
