I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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