what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize