I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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