she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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