So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
