There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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