I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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