I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
