I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
