Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
