Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Come on in and take your pants off
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