is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
i've created a new STD.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
