Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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