I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
