too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
this is an emotional support booty call
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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