Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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